I had a conversation with a friend the other day. He was talking about his love for his girlfriend and how he feels vulnerable because he loves her so much, and she isn’t sure she reciprocates. He’s willing to keep his heart out there in spite of his fear.
It reminded me of a movie I saw a few years ago, Black Orchid with Nicholas Cage. I didn’t really like the movie much but there was one scene where he was talking to his brother, also played by Nicholas, about a girl he had been in love with in high school. Nicholas 1 said to Nicholas 2, that he had just been decimated by the girl, and how had he been able to tolerate that? Nicholas 2 said back, “it wasn’t about her, it was about my love for her.” That sentence changed my whole perspective on love. I had spent my life waiting for someone to love me and to feel that love coming from someone, but it was really mine to feel and give.
We often tell people that when they’re angry, it isn’t about that other person. Its usually about some anger they are holding inside from a long time ago, and its just triggered by an interaction now. Well love is the same way. We have it inside of us all the time, just waiting to come up. When we fall in love, it is our love to give, and our love to feel, regardless of whether it’s reciprocated by the object of our affection.