Blame – Would you let someone else stop you?
We did our TV show-Perspectives on Healing about Blame this week, which brought the subject to my mind more. One of our guests spoke about his relationship with his dad, and how the constant betrayal and abandonment he experienced caused him to feel like he wasn’t worth anything. Everything bad that’s happened in his life and everything good that didn’t happen is his dad’s fault.
If its someone else’s fault that anything happens to you, then it isn’t in your hands to change it.You lose your power of controlling your own body and life.
I have another client who continues to eat foods that are bad for her. She keeps thinking that whatever is happening in her life is an excuse for eating those foods. Then she comes to me and says that her body hurts, she’s congested, and cranky because she has to work. She doesn’t make the connection between those foods and how she feels.
Blaming someone else or even blaming yourself for your problems, will cause you to crave things that aren’t good for you, and then feel unable to control the craving – because its something that came from outside of yourself.
If we continue the cycle of blame, when an illness develops, we blame our bodies for not cooperating with us. We blame our doctors for not finding the solutions. We blame the medicine for not working. We blame our lives for not giving us what we want. Blaming leads us again, to not being able to find the solution that works.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t say that someone caused a problem doing something unconscious, or sort out whoever did something wrong to us. So that makes it a tricky slope, there’s a fine line where blame is okay, because we need to see what’s going on. There is the point at which blame stops us from being able to move forward because we’re stuck in saying that person did something to me.
One of my patients is so angry at her family for not sympathizing with her when she was ill, that she may be keeping herself from getting better now that she finally has treatment for her illness. She’s proving to them just how ill she is, and that has become more important than healing her body so she can go on with her life.